Words matter. The terms we use shape how we understand problems and how we respond to them.
When we talk about students who stuggle to attend school, our choice of language matters more than many realise. Terms like ‘school refusal’ and ‘school can’t’ each carry certain assumptions that can narrow our understanding and in turn our avenues for support.
The long used ‘school refusal’ is often problematic as it suggests a level of wilful defiance or opposition to attending school. It can imply that a child is simply choosing not to attend school which risks framing the student as difficult, uncooperative or resistant. This thinking can lead towards support approaches with focus on pressuring or coercing students into attending with compliance-focused responses.
The term ‘school can’t’ emerged as a more compassionate alternative, acknowledging that many students are not refusing school out of choice but are experiencing genuine distress. This term was intended to disrupt the framing provided by the term school refusal and this disruption is important, however the term can still oversimplify the issue. Not all school avoidance reflects a complete inability to attend. Many students can, an indeed want to attend. Sometimes this is only possible under certain conditions, for certain periods, or with significant but meaningful support.
The term Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA) recognises that school avoidance is often driven by emotional distress, linked heavily to feelings of anxiety, overwhelm, fear, shame or social stress. Importantly, it highlights the function of the behaviour. Avoiding school often provides immediate relief from the distress. When a student is unable to attend school, the absence often reflects underlying distress or unmet needs where school is concerned rather than being the core problem itself.
This distinction matters because it shifts the focus from “How do we get them back to school?” to “What is making school feel unsafe, overwhelming or unmanageable?” That questions steps up our responses to ones that are grounded in understanding, collaboration and meaningful support.
Taylor Behavioural 